Three years ago time stood still as we dreamed of our baby boy. It had been a long week--I had just changed departments at work and didn't even really get to start before I started having strange pains that doctors wrote off as heart burn. It wasn't heart burn though, it was my body rejecting our little guy.
Early in the morning on May 20, 2005 I had decided I'd had enough of being dismissed by doctors and nurses. After one last call to the OB that got nowhere, I called DH and told him that I was going to go to labor and delivery and demand that someone give me answers. I remember waiting for him on the steps outside the hospital. When he got there I kept apologizing for wasting his day at work with my worries. When we got to the labor and delivery floor, the nurses took one look at me and put me in a room. It was about 10:30am. My blood pressure was through the roof and I was still having really bad pain in my side. I was frustrated and scared. One of the nurses came in and said, "You know, today is a good date to have a baby 5-20-05." I answered, "Yeah, for somebody, but not me. I'm just 30 weeks pregnant." The on call OB, one of the others in my OB's practice, came in soon after. He explained what was happening and that they would need to do a c-section very soon. The rest of the day was a blur. They had us filling out birth certificate paperwork and release forms. I was on IV's, pain medication, etc. and couldn't really process what was happening.
Our little man was born at 2:12pm weighing 2 lbs. 11 oz. Daddy wasn't allowed in the OR until a few minutes after he was born, but he said he came out screaming. Tiny and screaming. The next time he saw him they had put him on the ventilator. I spent nearly 3 days without seeing my sweet boy. When I finally got to see him, I wasn't sure he was even mine! He was this perfect little being, so quiet and so tiny. We held him for the first time when he was 2 weeks old. He spent six long weeks in the NICU. Those were some of the longest days of our lives. I would go visit him twice per day, staying as long as I could each time. Looking back, I still get emotional about that time. No mother should be separated from her child this way. But now I know this was all part of the plan for our lives. It's playing out perfectly, just as God planned it to be. There is so much more to his story, our story, but I've found that details aren't as important anymore. The details are etched in my heart forever, reminding me how precious life really is.
The critterboy is absolutely perfect now. Other than being a smidge small and having tiny white scars on the tops of his hands and feet from all of the needles and IV's, you'd never know he was born too soon. He is the first of our miracles, and is the strongest little man I know. He is so lovey and cuddly, yet independent and stubborn. He is smart, funny, adorable, and just the most amazing little guy.
Little man, on the night before you turn 3, know that your mommy and daddy love you more than you could ever know. Everyday we have with you is a complete blessing and I can't wait to watch you grow up. You have changed me in ways you'll never understand. You're a wonderful son and you'll be such a great big brother very soon! I love you buddy!
1 comment:
I just read this Susie, and from one mother to another I completly understand! Its amazing how your life changes in that split second of the Dr. telling you they are taking the baby out so soon. I never thought we'd have one either then BAM here he is.. This perfect little boy! I'm so glad your critter boy is healthy and thriving and I hope that I can be half the mother to Gabriel that you are to your 2 babies!
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